


Demon Infestation

by Lennelle



Series: Next of Kin [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Delusions, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mental Health Issues, Mental Institutions, Motherly Jody Mills, Post-Season/Series 07 AU, Sam Winchester and Mental Health Issues, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2017-02-26
Packaged: 2018-09-27 02:20:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9945893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lennelle/pseuds/Lennelle
Summary: Jody visits Sam on a bad day.





	

She knows the moment she steps through the front doors that it's a bad day. It's the nurse behind the reception desk and the pinched look on her face as soon as she sees Jody that gives it away. This has happened before, Sam has plenty of ups and downs, but something on the nurse's face says this might be worse than the usual bad day. Jody places a plastic-wrapped banana loaf on the desk and asks where Sam is. When she's directed to his room, she goes, the banana loaf is left with the nurse.

It's been five months since she first got that call. Five months of almost daily visits. Almost a hundred different things she's baked for Sam. She's learned a lot about him in this time. For one thing, he isn't the biggest fan of sugary food, but he seems to really like it when Jody brings things for him. She usually takes most of the cake home with her to share at the precinct the next day, but those moments where she and Sam share a cup of tea and a slice of something sweet is something she's begun to cherish. She's learned in snippets about the tragic life he's led, a life bizarre enough that she isn't entirely sure what is real and what Sam might have made up. She has a horrifying feeling that Sam never made up the devil.

She has learned the little things too. She knows what his favourite book is, what his favourite food it, favourite movie or song. She knows that he likes to sleep with only one pillow, that he speaks fluent Latin. He doesn't particularly like Christmas or chocolate, the freak, and he once got so drunk in college that he made out with his roommate, who was a guy, and it was actually a pretty good kiss.

Sam knows things about her too, things that she hasn't told anyone else. When he's lucid, he's a wonderful listener.

Jody thinks she's falling in love with him. Not in the romantic sense. Certainly in a motherly sense. She knew him before all this, liked him well enough. Now, he feels like family. She isn't sure if it's sad or wonderful that she looks so forward to visiting the psychiatric hospital each week. Jody has no one left, she's been alone for years. With Sam, the loneliness can't touch her.

There's a hole in her left by Owen and her husband, one which won't ever be filled. Sam Winchester has managed to repair the edges of it, stitch is small enough that it doesn't swallow her whole. She thinks maybe she needs him as much as he needs her.

She's been talking with the doctors about bringing Sam home with her for Christmas, whether Sam likes to celebrate or not. _If he improves_ , the doctor had said. And Sam had been, until now.

She finds him in his room, an orderly keeping watch outside. He sees Jody and says, "he keeps trying to leave," by way of explanation. She nods and waits for him to let her into the room.

Sam is sitting at the desk, leaning forward enough that his nose almost brushes the paper he's scribbling on with a felt tip pen. Jody approaches slowly and crouches down at his side, brushing her hand across his back. He flinches briefly at her touch, eyes flicking in her direction, but he immediately gets back to writing.

"Hey, Sam," Jody says. "What are you doing?"

"Planning."

"For?"

"It's - it's complicated. I'm figuring it out," Sam mumbles, words rushed and fidgety. "Dean - Dean needs me. I'm supposed to... I'm working on it."

Jody sighs. It's rare if Dean isn't brought up when she visits, but usually it's more talk than action. The few times Sam has actually tried to 'find' Dean have been almost disastrous. Window repairs can be expensive.

She looks him over and finds heavy shadows under his eyes, fresh scratches on his forearms, nails bitten down to stubs.

"Have you been sleeping, sweetie?"

"Can't. Dean needs me."

"Sam, do you remember why you're here? Remember what happened to Dean?"

Sam finally looks at her, the hand holding the pen stops moving. "Dean. And, and Cas. They're gone."

Jody pushes a strand of hair behind his ear. "I know, sweetie."

Sam presses his eyes closed, one fist coming up to his forehead as he concentrates. "And... and I have to find them. I should have found them by now. Dean's gonna be so mad..."

Jody hushes him gently. "Dean's in a better place now, remember? Sam, Dean died. It's a horrible, horrible thing and I know you don't want to remember it, but you need to. Dean wouldn't want you hurting yourself like this."

Sam turns back to the paper and continues scribbling at it, jaw set as he ignores Jody.

"Sam," she sighs.

"I'm busy."

She peers over his shoulder to catch a glimpse at the paper. It's filled from corner to corner with different symbols, none of which make any sense to her.

"What are these?" she asks conversationally.

"A way to get Dean back. I just have to find him. If I paint one of these, I'll find him. I just don't remember which is the right one."

Jody recognises one as a devil's trap, almost identical to the one that had been painted in Bobby's Singer's study. She gently wraps her fingers around his hand and stills it, pulling the tip of the pen away from the paper.

"You need some sleep, Sam," she tells him. "Being so tired will just make you sicker."

"I'm fine."

"You aren't well, Sam. Are you taking your pills?"

"They're trying to poison me. They make me fuzzy," he says. Then he pauses and looks at her, eyes wide. "They got to you, too. The demons. They lock me up in here and they trick you or, or... you're one of them. Are you one of them?"

"Sam, there aren't any - "

He grabs her arm before she gets a chance to say any more, and he pulls up her shirt sleeve, scribbling a devil's trap on her forearm. The door behind them opens and the orderly comes in, but Jody quickly shoos him away. When Sam is done drawing, he leans close and inspects her eyes.

"Not a demon," Jody points out. "Promise."

He seems to relax a little. Jody quickly confiscates the pen before he starts scribbling on the walls, and she really doesn't want to be paying more damages. She gets back to her feet and takes Sam's elbow, managing to get him from the desk to the bed. A stack of non-fiction paperback books sit on the bedside table along with an almost-full notebook. The doctor had told Sam to write down his thoughts and feelings and he had gone to town with it. Jody, ashamedly, peeked at it once and found nothing but incoherent rambling and symbols in the margins.

Sam starts scratching at his arm again and Jody pries his hand away.

"You need sleep," she says, no room for argument.

Sam sits, gazing blankly at the middle distance for a moment, then he suddenly bursts into shoulder-wracking sobs. She catches him in her arms, rubs at his back as he presses his wet face into her neck.

"Why did he go away?" Sam weeps.

"He didn't choose to, Sam. He'd be here with you if he could."

"Everyone goes away..."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"I don't want to be here anymore, Jody," Sam says. He's said things like this before, and he doesn't mean the hospital.

"Don't say things like that."

"It hurts too much. I wish I wasn't here."

Jody pulls away and takes his face in her hands, brushing her thumb over his wet cheek. "Please don't say things like that, I couldn't bear it. Don't you know how much you mean to me?"

Sam sniffs and rubs the back of his hand across his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologise."

"Nothing makes any sense."

"I know."

"Dean's gone?"

"Yes. I'm sorry, Sam."

"I knew he was gone... you've told me hundreds of times. I keep getting confused. I'm sorry."

"What did I say about apologies?"

"Sorry."

Both of them smile a little at that. She leans over and pulls back his bed covers, he lies back and lets her tuck him in.

"I feel like a child. I feel useless. It's embarrassing."

"If I told you what I did last Friday night, you'd probably feel better about yourself."

"What did you do?"

"You think I'm telling you?" Jody snorts. "You'll hold it over for me for the rest of eternity."

She pulls the chair away from the desk and parks herself at Sam's bedside. "Are you tired?" she asks.

"A little," Sam says, when he means to say _a lot._ His eyes are already half-closed. "If I go to sleep, they'll get me. They're everywhere here."

"There are no demons," Jody promises. "I made sure to check, I did everything Bobby ever taught me. Holy water, Christo, everything. You're safe here."

"Wake me up when Dean gets here..."

Sam's eyes have already closed before Jody can say anything, exhaustion winning over paranoia and fear. She sits with him a while longer, just because she wants to watch him look peaceful for a moment. He'd been doing well lately, no scratching or outbursts, he hasn't tried to kiss Amelia in weeks. There had even been talk about him coming home for Christmas. Jody had pulled her dusty tree decorations from the attic, she had window-shopped for gifts for Sam. December 25th is just over a month away. Jody hasn't spent Christmas with anyone in years, she'd been anticipating this too much.

She leans forward to brush a strand of hair from Sam's face. She thinks that maybe she wouldn't mind spending Christmas day on a psychiatric ward, if that's how it had to be, as long as she had Sam.


End file.
